No Thanksgiving

Bounty is always subject to a measure of quality, and this year we're celebrating the season of plenty with the lower end of the spectrum:

6:00pm - Awful Hour - Searching for the finest only leads to rejects which we cannot help but share...

7:00 - Garbage Pail Kids - The name says more than they could have hoped! Perhaps one of the most misguided films of all time, GPK is  live-action visual nausea of the purest pedigree. Like the Super Mario Bros. movie only barfier! We can do ANYTHING while working with each other!

8:30 - To The Limit - The late great Anna Nicole Smith's legacy of lunacy will probably soon be forgotten, but not if we can help it! To the Limit is but one of the three or so feature films she did and boy is it a stinker. Ninja secret agent Nicole battles disgruntled 'Nam vets for posession of a shiny CD-ROM disc in this incredible explosion of talent!




This November 18, come on down to the Sunset and say "No-Thanks!" to quality cinema while you enjoy some of the choiciest offerings from the bottom of the pail.
See ya there!...
And go LIKE us on that one website, we post fun pictures there.

Unseen Horror

Yes it's true, after a year of waiting (or only a month if you count last month's show) we're back in action for another mind boggling extravaganza of extravagant proportions. We had so much fun (and apparently you did too) with our unseen horror event last year, we had to do it again which means this:
1.) We went to Scarecrow Video and picked three movies we'd never seen before simply based on the boxes.

2.) We worked very hard at not watching them in the meantime so that we could see 'em for the first time with you on the Sunset big screen on October 28th...

The delectable selections for this event include....

6pm - Attack of the Beast Creatures: The box art was horrible, but the pictures promise nothing short of hilarity as small red doll monsters brutally dispatch the actors.
7:30 - Roller Blade: Not truly a horror film, but the promise of post-apocalyptic roller-skating was too much to resist. Yes I said "skate" because this was made before the days of "blades," but thankfully not before the days of sharp metal instruments of violence.

9:00 - Rat Man: The box art was a murky photograph that didn't tell us much, but the tagline, "The Critter from the Shitter" sold it instantly. A small hideous man who lives in the sewers is clearly up to no good...

Which means you'd better be there for the action at the Sunset Tavern in Ballard on Monday, October 28th. The first film starts at 6pm, so get there early for a good seat, this is gonna be special.

Fantasy Killer Mission Workout Force

This September is all fired up to be about as shocking as they come. With a couple of feature films cranking the crazy up to 11, we open the evening with an appetizer of:

6:00pm – The Awful Hour, in which the title pretty much says it all. Phill dredges up the muck from a stagnant cesspool of VHS culture…

At 7:00 pm - To heavily paraphrase the immortal words of Bill Hicks; If you don’t think drugs have done anything good for our culture, you’re mistaken. He was talking mostly about music of course, but Mi ni te gong dui, or Fantasy Mission Force if you prefer, is a cinematic case-in-point. Regarded by many of it’s lucky witnesses, as among the most nonsensical, downright insane kung-fu movies ever made. We’ve heard that before here at Kung Fu Grindhouse, but with Abraham Lincoln, zombies, Nazis, Cannibals and Jackie Chan this is sure to be a strong contender for the head-slap awards.

Then at 8:30 - The connection seems at first tenuous, but pornography and fitness videos both indulge the evangelical tradition in a way that would do Jimmy Swaggart proud. Without the sin, there could be no weeping (or sweating as it were,) flagellating repentance. Without beauty there could be no ugly. It is entirely fitting that this irrational contradiction would be taken to its psychosexual apex in a straight-to-video horror flick from the 80’s. If you thought Death Spa was good, wait until you see Killer Workout. (AKA Aerobicide) This is gonna hurt.

We'll see you at The Sunset on September 16th, with bells on.

Invincible Super Chan

Yes it's true, after a nearly five week absence from our lives, the Grindhouse is back to soothe battered nerves. On Monday August 19th this divine reprieve will grace the screen with three delightful anodynes, beginning with:

Awful Hour @ 6: Scrounged from the depths of obsolete media storage formats comes an hour of the finest and perhaps funniest of video sado-masochism. we're going to mix it up a bit this month in the hopes that more of you videophiles will come out and enjoy these sixty unique minutes of video carnage. You'll never get them back.

Stone Cold @ 7: Seattleites have a long memory for sports failures, but few have been as sorely recalled as that of the BOZ. In spite of his largely risible tenure with the 'Hawks however, his cinema career has been, well, largely risible. Although slated to appear in The Expendables 3, Brian Bosworth's acting debut was in 1991 undercover mullet-cop goes rogue-biker flick Stone Cold. The final judgement, at least as far as we're concerned, rests in your hands...

Invincible Super Chan @ 8:30: Set aside all your woes however and travel back twenty years before Boz to find yourself in a world unlike any before or since. Is there any point at all in trying to make sense of the violence and absurdity that is Super Chan? No good edits or prints of this exist in the US market, so we'll content ourselves with this ride through the time stream of absurdity the best we can; with a drinking game! An unhinged and wacky trip through magical flight, decapitations and giant edible boulders. But don't take my word for it, come see this silly business for yourself on August 19th at The Sunset BIG SCREEN.
Kung Fu Grindhouse is the truth, and the truth never got more important than this people.

Gymkata

Time flies when you're trying to come up with clever ways to describe bad movies.
This July 15th is a mixed bag of sorts beginning of course at 6pm with the ever popular Awful Hour wherein we pick at the mouldering carcass of the VHS age.

Then at 7pm, to honor the late Lau Kar-leung who died this last June, we're screening one of our favorite films from his veritable pantheon of greats. We'll be treating you (and ourselves) to the turbo-speed action of Mad Monkey Kung Fu. I wish I could say there was more to this film's plot than simple revenge, but anyway, it's a good sort of revenge and executed very satisfyingly by the masterful Kar-leung and his co-star Hsaio-Ho in one of our favorite (did I say that already?) wu-xia films EVER.

Finally, we're bringing it back down a few dozen notches with the perennial favorite atrocity known simply as Gymkata. If you're not familiar with the premise in which an Olympic gymnast goes all Surviving the Game somewhere in eastern Europe, then nothing I can say will prepare you for what will assail your see-holes on JULY 15th.

See you at the Sunset.

Future Force

Running full tilt with scissors into June we quickly found ourselves face to face with the FUTURE, and boy does it look pretty. Opening the night as usual at 6pm with some VHS cinema salvage for Awful Hour, Monday June 24 quickly gets down to the business of low-budget lawless dystopian nightmares with:

Mutant Hunt, 1987 -  Making good his temporary departure from gay-porn, director Tim Kincaid helms this doozy of a yarn concerning drugs, evil robots and barely clad beefcake; the 80's never saw better! Produced and scored by the Band Brothers (of Full Moon Pictures infamy) Mutant Hunt makes modern day New Jersey look like a walk in the park.

Future Force, 1988 - Subsequently we feast our see-holes upon the late David Carradine in what is assuredly not his finest role in a second dystopian future known as Future Force, a late-80’s straight to video gem with all the charisma of a carbuncle. After pulling society back from the brink of collapse, Tucker (Carradine) and the C.O.P.S. commence to infighting, backstabbing and blowing each other away, just like any good group of law enforcement officers. But Tuck has an ace up his sleeve, and a wheelchair, and a flying laser arm. Yup.

So come won't you, and join us in memorializing the finest in cinematic masochism on the biggish screen at the Sunset, where the beer is always beery and the movies are always of dubious quality.

Sakura Killers

Leaping feet first into our ninth year, we've concocted a selection of oddball cinema sure to make your eyeballs water for one reason or another.

First up at 6pm is the ubiquitous Awful Hour in which we present some of the finest in rescued video tapes from the trash-heap of history. It's looking Christian and instructional if my VHS compass is at all accurate...

Then at 7pm we will witness the siren sounds of Japanese Kaiju gone thoroughly absurd with Frankenstein Conquers the World. Nazi's set the tone before the plot moves to Japan where science struggles to save the day under the onslaught of giant radioactive lizards...

At 8:30pm we're rounding things off with a hearty helping of Gaijin-ninja activities in the form of low-rent American Ninja ripoff Sakura Killers. The political climate of the 80's garnishes an already rich sauce of ninja movie cliche's when the Soviets, eager to destroy the worlds food supply, snatch a top-secret video tape. Hired to retrieve said VHS cassette are Sonny and Dennis, two secret agent types. But before recovering the tape, they must first cruise the bars of Hong Kong (?) and learn ninja skills. This bone-headed classic has been lost to the ages, but we're bringing it back to the big(ish) screen just for your enjoyment!

Join us won't you on May 20th when we will gather together to remember some of the finest cinema ever to be forgotten.