Monday, March 5, 2012

Brothers Five

Awful Hour - 6pm: You know the drill; salvaged educational/instructional/terrible VHS tapes make it to the big screen at last

The Deadly Mantis - 7pm: Natural disasters free a giant praying mantis from its icy arctic tomb just in time for dinner. Crossing the barren flavorless wastes of Canada it heads for the eastern seaboard where hordes of tender tasty morsels run screaming through the streets just begging to be masticated. A classic of the Giant-Insect-On-The-Lam era and easily one of the best.

Freaked - 8:30pm: Bill S. Preston Esquire stars in this harrowing tale of a spoiled child star looking for work in all the wrong places. Taking a job peddling toxic chemicals in South America he finds himself hideously mutated by Randy Quaid. At least he's in good company with Mr.T, Keanu Reeves and a host of other B-list stars in this gross-out surreal comedy.

Brothers Five - 10pm: After the brutal murder of their parents, five infant brothers are separated and grow to adulthood on their own. Years later each one separately tries to exact vengeance but finds that he's no match for the fighters of evil Teng Lung Manor. Cheng Pei-Pei stars as the woman working to reunite the brothers so that they can exact their prolonged bloody revenge. And it is. Brothers Five is one of the blood-geyseriest movies we've seen in a long while.